Drooling

For whatever reason, I seem to be drooling more lately.  It's a nasty thing to do, and I hate doing it.  I suppose it's another facet of my control thing, like my problem with my urination.  Though I've never had complete control of my body, I've prided myself in controlling what I could.  That's slipped a bit lately.

Of course, the past few months have been tough for me.  Maybe if my life settles down, the drooling will slow.

Nitty Gritty

We are now at the point in the process of getting me my own place where we are trying to piece together a  way to get me the aide support I need to live alone.  It's an exciting time, as that is what I've always wanted.

It's turning out to be complicated.  The government, in its wisdom, has separated the available money into various, smaller piles, each of which is supposed to serve a particular population.  That may work in theory, but in practice it can mean individuals can get caught in the cracks.  Individuals, not legalistic definitions of groups and subgroups, should drive such programs.

Making the programs work for individuals who don't fit neat definitions requires political acumen and creativity. Fortunately, the people working on my behalf have both.

Looking For Housemates

Soon, possibly beginning next week, I'll start meeting potential housemates.   When I find someone I can live with, that will be the next major step towards really transitioning out of here.  Finding such a person might be difficult, but we will have one thing immediately in common-- a strong desire to make such an arrangement work.  We will have to guard against letting that desire overwhelm other factors, but it will also be a powerful positive.

It also looks like I might be living right in Indianapolis.  That'd be quite a change for a boy who grew up in Muncie seeing Indianapolis as the "big city."  Indeed, it is the eleventh largest city in the nation.  Settling there will have some advantages.

Cutting Lines

Monday afternoon, workers cut the cable television line here, and we had no TV until Tuesday morning.  This afternoon, somebody cut the power line, and this section was without power for about an hour.

From what I hear, the home is also having staffing problems.   I might be leavimg here at a good time.

Eating Supper

The aide who gave me supper last night talked on her cell right through it.  She was talking to her husband, boyfriend, or whatever, and they were having problems.  I had to prompt her to keep giving me bites.

It was annoying.  Not only was I trying to eat, but I wasn't interested in hearing her stuff.  She was fine otherwise, though.  She did everything I needed done or asked her to do through the evening.

I'm so ready to be dealing with only a few aides in my own home rather than the parade of new ones I have to deal with here.

No Cable

We haven't had cable television here since 1:30 yesterday afternoon.  Since many residents here probably spend their days watching television, that would seem to be a priority problem; even aides have told me they miss it.  Yet, it still hasn't been fixed.

Of course, I have no idea what the problem is.  Perhaps it's something fiendishly complex.  The truth is, I couldn't get my old VCR to work yesterday.  But I don't get paid to make that work.

We're supposed to have cable back today.  I certainly hope we do.

Transitioning

I'm finally beginning to transition from Depends back to regular underwear.  I had an accident yesterday, but I'm doing better today.  This is a step towards being able to go out and see places I might live and meeting possible housemates, so I really want to get squared away quickly.

If I could get to the bathroom on my own, this wouldn't be an issue, but having to call and wait on aides makes it tough.  That's nothing against the aides here.  They've been great these past few weeks.  It is, however, the nature of the situation in a large nursing home.

In my own place, with an aide there at all times, I'd hopefully have an easier time.

Back In My Old Digs

This morning I was moved back into my regular rooms, and it feels good to be back.

Hopefully.I'll be able to re-establish my routine with my regular aides so I can more easily focus on the process of getting my own home.  That continues to move ahead, and I'm happy and excited about that.

Timing Things Out

An aide stuck her head in my door early this morning and told me she'd be right with me.  So, I waited.  And waited.  After an hour, I hit my call button, and she came soon thereafter.  I don't know if she was waiting for me even as I was waiting for her or what.  I did hear a few alarms go off while waiting, and she told me it'd been a busy morning, so maybe I was kicked down the priority list until I hit the button for good reasons.

Of course, in my own home, with my own aides, that won't happen.  My time will again have value.

Looking Ahead

Now that I have people actively helping me get my own place, plus the real possibility I could have that in a matter of several weeks, I'm increasingly looking ahead.  I'm eager to begin meeting aides who might be part of my team, eager to begin looking at houses and apartments that might be my home soon, and eager to meet possible housemates.  The next few weeks will be busy, and even chaotic compared to my usual routine, but I want to get going.

Of course, looking forward to all that makes me more impatient when it comes to dealing with the daily issues I have here.  That should be easier when I'm back in my usual rooms.  Wherever I am and whoever I have to deal with, I need to remember to keep blocking and tackling-- keep doing what I should do here-- for a few more weeks.

Reforming The System

As the political campaigns bore through the summer heat, reforming various government programs is clearly on the agenda-- and just as clearly, delivering on that agenda will have to wait until after the election.

Interlocking reforms look to be necessary.  Simplifying the tax code, reforming entitlements, and cutting defense spending seem to be the elements attracting majority support in the effort to get the government's finances under control.  Alas, as always, the devil is in the details.

Supporting people in their attempts to move out of nursing homes is, in the big picture, a detail.  It's also, however, something that would resonate with most people if presented to them clearly and simply.  Americans respond to arguments grounded in a need for freedom and imdependence.  A series in a major newspaper might do it, or a series of television news reports, or perhaps television ads put forward by a PAC.  Getting the program in front of the people before legislative battles fire up in earnest again might pay dividends.

Trying Times

Two of my favorite aides, Charlene and Carrie, came to visit me today, just to see how I'm doing over here.  They're both really sweet ladies, and they both said they miss me.

I miss being over there, too.  I'm becoming increasingly frustrated because I don't know how much longer I'll be here.  One person tells me I should be back in my old rooms any day, while another person tells me it'll be about two more weeks.  I dislike living in such limbo, as I suppose most people do.  On top of that, I'm eager to get on with my home project, still dealing with my urination problems, and adjusting to this new sectiion.

It's tough on me.

Noisy Place

I had my aide Yodit on the morning shift today.  It was good to work with her again, though she did seem distracted.

Yodit told me this room is more expensive than the other one, but it's also noisier.  It opens directly to the main hall, whereas my bedroom in the other unit does not.  They do close the door here, which is good.  I still hear lots of stuff at night, though.

I'm looking forward to quiet nights in my own place.

Countdown

Millie, the social worker here, told me yesterday we should be out of our original rooms for no more than eight days.  If so, I could be back there any day.  I'm looking forward to getting back there, where I have a bit more privacy, a little more quiet, and, presumably, the aides I know best.

Millie, by the way, is a very kind lady who is totally behind my effort to move out of here.

Scary Shower

The room I'm using now has its own private shower, and we used it last night.  It was a scary time.  The shower chair in there is high, and the seat is small, and I was constantly afraid of falling off.  Of course, when I got wet, I got slippery, which didn't help at all.  Nor did the cold water.  There was no hot water.

I could imagine myself slipping on that tile and breaking a hip or something.  The aide did put a towel under my feet, which helped, but she also kept leaving me alone in there, to get my clothes or whatever.

Hopefully, I'll be back in my old rooms before the next shower.

So Far, So Good

I've been lucky so far in this new room to have some aides I've had before-- I even had Charlene yesterday morning.  That makes it easier for me.  Charlene even came to visit me Sunday morning, just to make sure everything was going okay for me.  She's a very sweet lady.

The aide I had Sunday evening is a nice guy, but he left me two or three times while giving me supper.  I doubt that's proper procedure.  If I'd choked while he was away, this company would probably have been opened to a big lawsuit, but he was looking after other residents.  Charlene told me she had nothing to do all weekend because all the people in that section had been relocated.  Why they didn't shift those aides to where they had residents is not clear to me.

Hopefully, I'll be back in my old rooms soon, but nobody is saying when that might happen.

What A Day

I spent this morning waiting in line for an eye exam.  The exam itself took maybe ten minutes, and confirmed what I already knew-- my eyes are fine, even though the right eye is a bit nearsighted.

After lunch, I had to get weighed, and came in at 100 pounds.

After that, my brother Jeff and I met with Kelly Crawford and Laurie Fife of Insights Consulting about getting my own home and hiring aides.  They were quite impressive, and we are going with them.  The next few weeks will be busy, but I will be in the middle of the process, which is very nice.  Kelly said I could be out of here by September or October, which would be very nice indeed.

It has been quite a day.

Special Weekend Post

Well, the water pipe situation I mentioned yesterday evolved after that to the point that the whole section was temporarily moved into other rooms.

So, now I'll be in this room, perhaps for several days, adjusting to new surroundings not set up for my convenience the way my room is, and adjusting to a new set of aides and how they do things-- all the while still dealing with my urination problem.

On Monday afternoon, I have a meeting with a representative from a home healthcare company to learn how that company would approach assigning and providing aides for me 24/7 in a private home setting.  She has already given me the bare bones of what they do via email, and it sounds really good.  I'm eager to learn more-- and more than ready to keep the process moving forward..

Excitement This Afternoon

A water pipe broke down my hall this afternoon, and I was evacuated from my rooms because there was flooding down the way.  I was gone for maybe 45 minutes.

It could've been worse, however.  They determined my rooms weren't affected.  If they had been, I would have been moved to another room until they got things squared away.  That would have been a pain.

Crossed Fingers Time

Well, with the help of my friend Chrissy, I have prepared and sent proposals to two well respected New York literary agencies, following up on pitches Chrissy made on my behalf to agents from those agencies at a writers conference she attended in June.  Each proposal is for a different novel I've written, as well, so that gives me two legitimate shots at success.

Chrissy was also able to give editors from a small press a synopsis and a sample chapter of one of my novels, so I have some possibilities bubbling.  Now, I have to wait and see if any of those possibilities actually develop into anything.

My Disappearing Pants II

I must have nine or ten pairs of pants here.  That certainly should be enough to keep my lower half clothed at all times.  Occasionally, though, it's not.  Last night, I was down to my last pair, trying very hard not to pee in them.  Luckily, with the help of three willing aides, I was able to avoid that indignity.

They wash my laundry here, and I'm not sure exactly how it works, but I've run low on pants before, as noted in this blog.  Indeed, my brother Jeff bought me three new pair just a few weeks ago to avoid precisely this situation.  I can go through pants fairly quickly right after my cancer treatment, but I don't think I've been doing that lately, so I don't know what the problem is.  Even though the laundry lady brings clothes back to my room about every morning, my pants seem to go out and stay out for a while.  It's strange.

Of course, if I had my own home complete with a washer and dryer, this wouldn't be a problem.

My Daily Meds

When a nurse comes to give you your medication here, that nurse means to get it done.

I take three pills daily, and the nurse can bring them any time throughout the day-- morning, noon, or night.  Today, a nurse brought the pills and some water before I was even out of bed.  She stood there waiting, holding the stuff, so I got out of bed and took the pills, and then got back in bed so it'd be easier for my aide to get me dressed.

I know they have to give lots of people lots of medication here, and I understand they have to keep to some schedule, but rest is surely also important.  She didn't come unreasonably early, but she did see I was still in bed.

Oh, well.  That's part of living in a large institution, I suppose.  In my own home I could take my medicine when it was convenient for me to do so.

Looking For Housemates

My case manager has already sent me some possible housemates.  That pleases me.  I had been concerned the process may slow down at this stage.

In fact, I seem to be what's slowing things down at the moment.  It's been a month now since my last cancer treatment, and I'm still struggling with my urination.  I still can't get too far away from the bathroom.  It's getting very old very fast.  Soon, hopefully, I'll be able to push this process forward myself.