Monday, December 31, 2012

Quite A Year

This time last year, I was living in a nursing home, not knowing whether I would be there for the rest of my life.  It wasn't a bad place,  but it's not a place you want to live if you have a choice.  I was also still undergoing cancer treatments, which were painful, messy, and frustrating.


Today, all that has changed.  I'm done with the cancer treatments if things continue to go well, and thanks to
a lot of good work by some good people, I'm now living in my own apartment.  My future now has options and opportunities.  I'm still trying to work out how to take advantage of those, but I will get there.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Yodit's Baby

So, my aide Yodit had her baby within the past few hours-- a beautiful baby girl.  Yodit herself is an attractive young woman physically, as well as being a kind and gentle person and an extremely competent, devoted aide, so if the girl grows up to be like her mother, the world will be that much of a better place.

Of course, this means I'll be without Yodit for a few weeks.  She promised me she'll come back, though, and she said she'll come visit even before she comes back to work.  I will miss her in the meantime, but I have other aides I can count on.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Good News

I went to my urologist for a scope of my bladder today.  He said everything looked fine.  My bladder is still cancer free.  They're also going to analyze the urine he removed to make sure there are no malignant cells floating around in it, but he didn't seem concerned about that.

Statistically, he said, I'm right where I should be.  I don't go back for another scope until June 27.  I'll have those for years, I guess, but as long as everything stays good, the interval between them will lengthen.

This is a huge relief for me.  Now, I can really begin to focus on other things.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Christmas Taxi

I took my first taxi rides yesterday.  They were to my brother Jon's house and back, and everything went smoothly.  I was hoping to get home before the snow started falling, and we did that, too.

Now, I can begin to think about going places in the city using a taxi. It's a liberating prospect.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Peapod Success

I successfully placed my first order on Peapod yesterday.  I wasn't sure Christmas Eve would be the best time to get a delivery like that, but the guy was here within the time window I specified.

There's a trick to using Peapod.  The minimum purchase is $60, so you can't go there just to get a couple small items.  I'll have to work on making sure to get everything I need when I place an order, but it will be an excellent service for me.

Friday, December 21, 2012

First Snow

The first day of winter has brought the first snow of the season to Indianapolis.  Hopefully, it won't be a daily event right through to spring.

I wouldn't mind having a white Christmas as long as it's not going crazy when I'm trying to get to Jon's house and back.  Beyond that, though, I'm hoping for a mild winter, just cold enough to kill off all the bugs-- insect, bacterial, and viral.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Tough Morning

This morning, early on, I couldn't use the restroom at all-- neither number.  It was frustrating and painful.  Of course, I have to discipline myself to go when somebody is here to help, which can be difficult.  Add extra stress, like my urologist appointment coming up, then being delayed a week, and the lack of fruit in my diet for a few days, and I guess it's not good.

I was finally able to get things worked out, however, which is good.  The bathroom stuff is really the only big issue I have living on my own.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Power Chair Practice

Early this morning, while Janeeka was here, I took my power chair out for some practice.  I went up and down the halls on this floor, used an arrangement of chairs to practice some tighter mameuvering, and did pretty well.  I didn't keep quite as straight a course as I wanted, but Janeeka didn't have to help me at all, either.

I didn't have her put the cuffs on my ankles.  I thought I could control my legs well enough to not need that, and it worked just fine.  I'd rather not be so strapped down that I can't move at all.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

My Power Chair

Laura was right.  My new power chair is indeed badass.  Jeff Freehill brought it to my apartment yesterday afternoon and got it set up for my body and abilities, and I took it for a test drive.  That went pretty well.  I didn't destroy anything.

Finding time to practice in it is a little challenge.  When my aides are here, we have other things to do those two hours, like my meals, and going to the restroom.  Afternoons, I have to write my blogs, my column, and other things, pay my bills online, etc.  But I will figure something out.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Big Day

I get my power chair later this afternoon.   Laura has already seen it, and she assures me it's "badass."

This is probably a good time to get it.  I generally don't go outside much in the winter, so I'll have time to get used to it in my apartment and in this building before springtime.  Maybe I can even get to a basketball game or two before then.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Good Lunch Today

My overnight aide Tammy has taken to bringing me some of the food she makes for her own family.  It's good stuff.  Today for lunch, for example, I had chicken and noodles and biscuits that she made, plus Boost to drink that she brought.  I topped that off with a banana in Neapolitan ice cream.  That was Jordan's idea.

In the nursing home, my aide Charlene would bring me food she'd prepared at her home sometimes, and my family gave me food on occasion, but mostly I ate institutional fare.  It's great to be eating regular food again.

By the way, I owe Charlene a lot.  I got down to 90 pounds, and it was her dedication to seeing to it that I ate better that got me back well over 100.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Flu Shot

Nurse Danielle came by this morning and gave me my flu shot, so I should be safe for another flu season.  Many of the aides at the nursing home, I know, weren't fans of the flu shots because they said you can actually get flu that way.

Also, brother Jeff tells me my next appointment with the urologist has been delayed a week.  So, I won't have good news for Christmas.  Hopefully afterwards.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Christmas Tree

Jon, Angela, Mom, and Callie were over yesterday, and Angela found and set up a little fiber optics Christmas tree I didn't know I had.  They also brought a photo of Callie on Santa's lap.

So, now I have the little tree, the picture of Callie and Santa under it, and my holly plant, all in my living room.  It's beginning to look a bit like Christmas in there.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Tough Afternoon

Yesterday, I couldn't urinate while my aide was here from 2 to 4.  So, I didn't go from just after noon until just before six.  The last two or three hours of that were no fun.

Usually, I try to wait until after 3 o'clock to go, so the afternoon aide only has to take me once, and I'm good until the dinner shift aide gets here about 6.  I did that yesterday, but then I couldn't go.  So, I'll probably change strategy.  I'll go when the aide gets here at 2, and again before they leave at 4.  More work for both of us, but hopefully that will keep me out of tough situations.

I admit lots of this is mental on my part.  Not going for 6 hours, after all, is not disastrous.  Since I had the bladder cancer, though, I get concerned when I have the urge but can't go.  Not only is it physically painful, but I think of catheters and other stuff.  They say cancer changes you.  They're right.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Desma

Desma was my morning and evening aide this weekend, which was nice.  Well, nice for me-- she said she doesn't like getting up that early on the weekend.  Nicer yet, it seems she'll be my aide quite often from now on-- in the afternnoon and evening shifts.

In fact, we seem to be getting down to only a few aides with me on a regular basis, which is what I wanted.  There'll be a hiccup when Yodit leaves to have her baby, but she promises me she'll come back.  At that point, things could get into a nice, smooth groove for me, at least for a while.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Food Delivery

I got my first delivery from Peapod last evening.  It went very well.  The guy got here within the time window specified, which meant an aide was here to let him in, and the whole process with smoothly.  Now, my kitchen is well stocked.

Janeeka made the order to make sure the system was working properly.  Next time, I'll see if I can do it myself.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Christmas Decorations

My aide Jordan has asked me a couple times if I'm going to decorate my apartment for Christmas.  As I have no such decorations, I've told her no, but she says I should at least get a small tree for my living room.

In fact, I have a holly plant in there, given to me by my clever friend, Holli.  That's Christmassy, sort of, even though it lacks the little red berries.  Looking out across the courtyard at night, I see some people have decorated their balconies with Christmas lights.  Down the hall, there's a Christmas tree that has doubled as a Halloween tree and tripled as a Thanksgiving tree since I've been here-- God knows what it will be on Valentine's Day-- so I'm not without reminders of the season.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Good Food

My aide Tammy made chicken alfredo for her family yesterday, and she brought me some last night.  I had it for lunch today, and it was good stuff.  Yodit says she would cook for me, but somebody has to teach her how to cook "American" first.  She made me spaghetti once, and it was good.  Laura says she can't cook, but she brought me some chili she'd made one time, and it was perfectly fine.

On the other hand, I brought some turkey and dumplings home from Thanksgiving, and the aide that weekend, who certainly seems American, didn't know what the dumplings were.  She heated them and gave them to me anyway, though.

Desma told me she wants to come at least a time or two a week so she can cook for me, and Laura is trying to schedule a longer dinner shift to allow for cooking.  I hope both those ladies succeed.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Peapod Progress

Janeeka successfully used Peapod to buy groceries for me today, linking Peapod directly to my checking account.  So, that problem seems to be solved.

Now, we'll see about paying other bills online.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Setting Up My Finances

We have almost completed setting up my finances so I can pay my own bills and make purchases online.  I think we need to complete one last check to have my new PayPal account ready to go, and once that's up, I can use it to buy groceries through Peapod, pay bills, etc.

Getting this done has been harder than it should be because we've had to worry about handling my money in such a way as to stay within the rules laid out by the government, else I could lose part or all of the money.  I realize they are trying to protect against fraud, theft, and willful mismanagement of the funds, but there must be a better way to do that than making serious, well-intentioned people jump through silly legalistic hoops.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Menu

My aide Tammy, a warm-hearted native of Alaska, has offered to help me make out weekly menus, to give me more control over what I eat.  The aides ask me what I want to eat for meals now, but a menu might smooth the process.  It could also help guide my grocery shopping.

So, we'll see how it goes.  At the nursing home, I chose my menu from choices it offered, but here I'll be in control of the menu and the food.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Power Chair

Everything seems to be on track for me to get the power chair within a few weeks.  That will give me more options to get out on my own.  There's a shopping complex just across the street I could visit.  I'm not sure if there's a movie theater in there or not, but if there is, I could go there.  The Monon Trail, a popular walking and jogging trail in the city, is around here somewhere, too.   Then there are basketball games and lectures and museums.

I'll have to get the hang of driving it first, of course, but I've driven them before.  I also have to get a feel for the battery.  I don't want to be out somewhere and run out of juice.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

May Be Gettng Back To Normal

Yesterday I went one five hour stretch without urinating, and another nearly six hour stretch.  I tried to go while my afternoon aide was here, but failed, so I went from about noon to six without going.  Both stretches were painful towards the ends as I waited for the aides to get here, but other than that, there seems to have been no problem.  I regularly go four hours at night now without having to get up.  I think much of the pain is from muscles down there tightening up and screaming; it's not as bad at night when I'm sleeping and more relaxed.

Before I had the bladder cancer, I'd trained myself over the years to pee only twice a day, usually.  It was easier on Mom, who usually took me to the bathroon.  The cancer took that control away from me, making me admit that was one more thing I couldn't do for myself or those I love, and I hated it for doing that to me.  Now, the interval may be lengthening again.  If the pain goes away, too, maybe the bathroom will soon cease to be a focus in my life.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Guided By Computer App

My fearless team leader Janeeka took me to the dentist yesterday, and she navigated there by using an app on her handheld thingy.  I don't know which app it was, or what make the thingy was.  Anyway, it was amazing to hear instructions coming from the app and seeing how they matched up perfectly with reality.

That's the first step in a computer driven car.  The next step is a driverless car, and those are currently being tested in California.  For me and people like me, such cars would be a huge step towards greater personal independence.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Dental Appointment

I went to the dentist today and got a good report-- no cavities.  The hygienist said my aides are doing a good job brushing my teeth.

I might change dentists.  This one is in Noblesville because I used to live there.  I live in Indianapolis now, however, so driving to Noblesville to see a dentist doesn't necessarily make much sense.  I'm sure Indy has dentists out the wazoo.  We'll see.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Daisy

The family of my brother Jon has included Jon, his wife Angela, teenage daughter Renee, baby daughter Callie. and two dogs-- a Rottweiler named Gracie, and Daisy.

Jon and Angela rescued Daisy when they lived in Florida.  Someone had chained one of her hind legs to a tree in the forest and left her there.  She had a slight limp the rest of her life.  A yellow Lab/terrier mix, Daisy was a beautiful, sweet, paitent dog.  She had wonderful brown eyes.

Daisy was getting old, though-- Renee had grown up with her.  Recently, she had been ill, stopped eating, and in obvious pain.  The day before Thanksgiving Angela and Renee took Daisy to the vet and had her put down rather than let her suffer.  Her gentle presence will be missed by those who loved her.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Mom

Mom is in the hospital again, this time with an infection.  My brother Jon tells me she'll be okay, but she'll be in there a few days.  Mom has a weakened immune system, so it's not hard for her to get infections-- in fact,  I'm surprised and grateful that she hasn't gotten more-- but I'm so sad this has happened.

I still plan to go to Jon's for Thanksgiving tomorrow as he didn't say otherwise, but it won't be the same without Mom.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Desma Returning

I got the happy news today that Desma has been hired by Tendercare and will be working with me again.  She'll be with me when I go to Jon's house Thanksgiving Day, and I hope on a very regular basis after that.

Desma and I quickly developed a good relationship last month when I first moved here, and I'm hoping we can pick up right where we left off.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Fiddling With My Feet

Some aides, both now and at the nursing home, seem especially concerned about the positions of my legs and feet.  They'll move my legs around, trying to get them placed just so.  Sometimes, when I'm trying to use my legs to push myself up in a chair or on the toilet, they'll pull my feet out from under me.  I try to stop them, but it happens so fast that doesn't work.

I don't doubt they're trying to do the right thing, but if they looked at what I'm trying to do before grabbing my legs things might work better.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Thanksgiving

I'll probably be spending Thanksgiving at my brother Jon's house, eating turkey and dumplings and watching football.  I'll ge there by taxi, accompanied by an aide, hopefully Desma.

I've never done anything like this before.  It should be interesting.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Getting Warmed Up

For the past year or so, I've been having a hard time manipulating the mouse when I first get on the computer.  As I work at it I get better, but the initial several minutes are frustrating.

I'm not sure what the problem is.  It may be related to the CP, but older golfers talk about getting the "yips" when hitting short putts becomes a real challenge.  Maybe, at my age, my nerves aren't what they once were-- and they were never that good.  The more I work, though, the better I get, so maybe I just need to get warmed up.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Surprising My Aides

When I have aides who are new to me, they are generally surprised by how much I eat.  I'm not a big guy, so maybe that fools them, but I've always eaten well.  I imagine my appetite is connected to my cerebral palsy.  The CP makes me work harder than most people to do even simple things, work requires energy, and energy requires food.  I assume these aides are used to dealing with people far less active than I am, who therefore eat less.

New aides also tend to ask me if I'm tired-- which itself is tiresome.  They seem to want to put me to bed about seven in the evening.  Again, I don't know who these people usually work for, but I'm awake every night well past midnight.  I read in bed, and the reading does not involve comic books.  Maybe I look tired all the time, who knows, but in fact I have things to see, work to do, and a life to live.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

New Urination Concerns

While I was undergoing bladder cancer treatments, I had to urinate extremely often, which drove me nuts.  Now, the other extreme is starting to be a problem.  I can go three, sometimes four hours now without needing the restroom, which is great.  The problem comes, however, when I can't go while an aide is here to help me into the bathroom.

Today, for example, I went when Jordan got here, a little after 10:30 this morning, but I couldn't pee again before she left, which is what I normally do.  So, I had to wait until Candace got here at 2.  That time span is not terrible, but I went to the bathroon as soon as she arrived, and I had to sit in there for over a half hour working through the discomfort and getting relaxed enough that I could go.  That was some after 2:30, and now I have to wait until Latisha gets here,  Tonight, that's around 6:30.  Candace did ask me if I needed to go again before she left at 4, but I declined.  That was a mistake.  It's nearly 5:30 as I write this, and the pain is starting to build.

President Lyndon Johnson had a favorite bit of advice he gave new political candidates.  He told them to go to the bathroom at every opportunity because, in political campaigns, you never knew when you'd get another chance,  I'll have to follow Mr. Johnson's advice for a while.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Good Sleep

I'm sleeping much better here than I did at the nursing home.  My new bed is much more comfortable than the one there.  It's also quiet here, which wasn't always the case there.  It's dark here; staff there often left lights on.  My urination is getting better.  I don't have to go as often through the night now, and when I do need to go I don't have to wait ten or twenty minutes for an aide to come.

Finally, there, I never knew when somebody might come into my room.  Sometimes it was to make sure I had fresh icewater, which I never drank.  Sometimes, it was to check my blood pressure.  Sometimes, it was to get my wheelchair and take it to have it cleaned-- which meant they'd also bring it back.  And sometimes, aides would just wander in and wander back out.  None of that here.

Friday, November 9, 2012

One Year Ago

One year ago this weekend, I entered the nursing home.  It was a tumultuous time for my family.  Mom was in the hospital, very sick.  Before it was over, she nearly died, had her gall bladder removed, had triple bypass heart surgery, and spent nearly three months in a rehabilitation center.  I was still undergoing cancer treatments at the time, too; I started a new round of treatment that next week.  All of that, plus other stuff, put our family under great pressure.

Today, I have my own apartment, and Mom is back living with my brother Jon and his family, where we both lived before the whole thing came apart.   I don't know how many times over the years previous I'd told Mom she needed to go to the doctor, but she wouldn't do it.  Finally, it took Jon's wife Angela simply taking Mom to the hospital to get the care she needed.  Angela saved Mom's life.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Election Results

So, the elections are behind us.  Mr. Obama won another term in the White House-- more easily than many experts expected.  The Democrats maintained control of the U. S. Senate while the Republicans kept the U. S. House.  Paul Ryan split a doubleheader, losing the vice presidency but retaining his House seat and, presumably, his budget committee chairmanship.

In short, after all the hub bub, the fundamentals of the situation facing America and who will have to deal with them haven't changed much.  Both parties, but especially the Republicans, had hoped for more of a mandate from the voters.  Reforming entitlements, getting the budget under control, and reducing the national debt will have to be done by people who've shown no aptitude for any of that so far.  We'll have to see whether the bunch just elected will put the nation before party and political career.

That's what patriots do.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Fried Eggs

Last night, I decided to have fried eggs for supper.  At the nursing home, it was always scrambled eggs, omelets, or egg salad.  Anyway, my aide told me she didn't know how to make fried eggs, which surprised me.

She then asked me how to fry eggs, which surprised me again.  But, I told her what I assumed about it, and between us, we got it done.  I figured it would be fairly tough to mess up an egg.  I don't know if we did it correctly or not, but my two eggs tasted just fine.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Bureaucratic Logic

Today is Election Day-- yes, I voted-- so let's look at what seems to be a bit of squirelly bureaucratic logic.

When I was at the nursing home, only nurses could give me my medications-- CNAs like Yodit were not allowed to do it.  Now, working for Insights, Yodit can and does give me my meds-- perfectly competently-- but the PAs who work for Tendercare are prohibited from doing so.  Maybe it's a matter of insurance policies and insurance rates and who pays what, but it's probably deeper than that.  Bureaucracies, whether government or private, try to protect themselves in various ways.  One way is to limit the scope of action of its employees tightly enough to rule out as many mistakes as possible.  That approach denies human initiative, wastes human abilities, and builds a process that is unnecesarily complex-- but it does all that in the name of safety.

The problem is, it's not necessarily the safety of the individual being served that's at issue.  Rather, maybe too often, it's the safety of the bureaucrats involved and the politicians who set up the process.  Even that kind of safety would be fine if it didn't put undue burden on people who have to make the process work.  Unfortunately, those people regularly pay a price for the safety of others.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Working Out The Kinks

This weekend we had a couple glitches with aides who were new to me.  It reminded me of my time at the nursing home.  A couple days each week I had what I thought of as the B-Team-- aides who weren't quite as good with me as my regular aides.

Anyway, Tendercare has been great about addressing my concerns, so I'm feeling good about the future with them.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Peapod Problem

I spent well over an hour building a list of products to buy on Peapod to meet the $60 minimum purchase requirement.  It's amazing how much stuff you can get for that amount of money.

Anyway, I got into the check out part of the process and discovered I need either a credit or a debit card to use Peapod.  I have neither.  So, for the moment, I'm stymied on Peapod much as I am on eBay.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

PayPal and Peapod

I'm trying to get PayPal and Peapod set up so I can pay my own bills and do my own grocery shopping.  It's probably taking longer than it needs to, but I'm new at this.  The effort should be worth it.  Once everything is set up, I'll pretty much be in control of my finances-- such as they are-- and my diet.

I'll also be able to buy books online, of course, and get back to playing an online baseball game I love.  I'm not good at it, but I enjoy it.  The game's database has the stats of virtually every player in the majors from 1884 to the latest complete season, and you draft a 25 man roster, set the lineup, batting order, starting pitcher rotation, etc., and the computer plays a simulated game based upon the stats of the players in each game of a 162-game regular season.  Playing a season takes two months.  Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting back to that.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Bathroom Stuff

I'm finally getting my urination under better control.  The cancer treatments did a number on that control, but now I can regularly go three hours between bathroom visits-- maybe four hours at night.

It's still extremely painful if I hold the urine too long-- like last evening, when the dinner shift aide was nearly a half hour late-- but even that is getting better; the pain in that situation is duller than it used to be.  Still, if I wait too long, once I get on the toilet it takes me a while to work through the pain and get relaxed enough to go.  Hopefully, I will continue to improve to the point that this is no longer an issue in my life.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Trusting Aides

Through this process of dealing with new aides every whipstitch, I've developed ways to assess them fairly quickly.  My assessments have changed over time with some of them, but they generally have held up pretty well.   I observe them first, seeing how competent they seem to be, how confident, and how comfortable with the situation they are.  Next comes how they deal with me as a person-- whether they treat me as an equal.  Some at the nursing home didn't bother to try to establish any personal relationship with me.

The aides I have currently are all on the good side.  They seem to do their jobs well, and they treat me with respect.  Jordan, who I met just yesterday, I already trust enough to let her give me a shower this morning.  It went fine.  Hopefully, I'll be able to keep this bunch for a while.

Monday, October 29, 2012

World Series Over

Well, the San Francisco Giants swept away the Detroit Tigers, four games to none, to win the World Series.  I'd picked the Tigers in six games, which tells you what I know about baseball.

I'm always saddened when the Series is over, no matter who wins or loses.  That means baseball is over for another year, I'm another year older, winter is just around the corner, and the holidays are coming up.  I used to enjoy the holidays, but not so much lately.  Maybe it's because I have no kids and no special persxon to share them with, and I'm not a kid myself, anymore.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Still Charlene

Yodit told me last night that Charlene, my other favorite aide at the nursing home, is still interested in working with me here.  I seem to have that effect on women.  Alas, I have no other effect on women.  Anyway, Yodit and Charlene talk at the nursing home, and Yodit has encouraged Charlene to apply to Tendercare.

I hope she does so.  Charlene is a good aide and a really nice lady.  It would be great to have her positive and friendly presence in my life again.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Interesting Juice

Yesterday morning, I didn't have enough pineapple juice for a full glass, so my aide filled the rest of the sippy cup with grape juice.  I tried to tell her to let me drink the pineapple juice first, but that didn't work out.

This aide, who seems to be a sweet lady, is from somewhere in Africa, so maybe in her native culture they mix things like that.  With my speech problem and American English not her primary language, it's difficult for us to communicate.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Transition Nearly Over

The transition period from the nursing home to what will be my normal aide schedule will likely end this weekend.  I'm looking forward to settling into what will be my new routine.  Janeeka, my new team leader, has already spent time with me, learning what I need help doing.

Routine by itself may or may not be good.  I know it drives some people nuts.  For me, however, it provides a basis for my life. Having that basis, I can concentrate on more important things.  Without it, I tend to struggle.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

World Series

Months ago, when we seriously started the attempt to get me my own home, my personal goal was to be in my home to watch the World Series.  Through the efforts of many people, I'm here, and the Series opens tomorrow night.  The Detroit Tigers play the San Francisco Giants.

I'm picking the Tigers in six games.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Far-Flung Aides

Currently, I have three aides from Africa, Desma from Oklahoma, and Tammy, who hails from Fairbanks, Alaska.  There were also many foreign aides at the nursing home.  I'd often hear them speaking on the phone in a language other than English.

We can assume these people- mostly women-- didn't come to America because they dreamed of being healthcare aides.  Rather, we can assume they had certain skills, or maybe just a willingness to work in what can be difficult situations, and they got these modestly paid jobs.  For some, I know, it's about caring for people.  For others, I know, it's not so much.

Reforming the healthcare system to better support an aging population should mean better pay and benefits for those who do most of the hands-on work.  If that comes to pass, it will be interesting to see if the immigrant component holds steady, or begins to shrink.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Republican Meeting

Desma and I attended a Republican meeting in the building last evening.  Unfortunately, the planned main speaker didn't show, so we heard from the sister of former GOP Congressman Steve Buwyer(?) instead.  No, I'm not making this up.  Actually, she seemed to be a very nice lady.

Many of the residents here know their stuff.  One woman said she'd read the entire Obamacare law, which would put her ahead of most of the members of Congress who voted on it.  Why that admission hasn't raised more of a stink, I'm not sure.  The least somebody in Congress should do is read what he or she is voting on.  If it's too long to read, maybe it's too long to pass.  Anyway, the lady wasn't pleased with the law, and several others weren't, either.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Gubernatorial Debate

Last night, in a televised dabate in the campaign for Indiana governor, the issue of home health care as opposed to nursing home care came up.  Mr. Gregg, the Democrat, as I heard it, supported home health care, and would strengthen it.  Mr. Boneham, the Libertarian, also supported it, for whatever that's worth.  Mr. Pence, the Republican and leader in the polls, was more noncommital.

Gregg argued that home health care was not only better for individuals, allowing them to stay in their own homes, but that it was also more cost effective to pay aides to go into private homes rather than to put people in nursing homes with all the overhead that involves.  Presumably, he has the numbers to back that up, but it makes intuitive sense to me.

If we are going to lean more on home health care overall, however, perhaps we should reform and revitalize it.  Waivers should be focused more on individual needs than on bureaucratic or statutory definitions.  Yes, that would put more authority in the hands of those who actually operate the system on a daily basis, but it would also make the rules more accessible to the public and the press, making it easier for advocates and reporters to hold feet to fire.  Money should also be distributed more on a case-by-case basis and put away less in bureaucratically constructed silos that force individuals into largely artificial categories.  The goal of such a slice-and-dice system, I assume, is to see that taxpayers' money is used correctly, but a system more open to public scrutiny could also do that.  Another reform might be to pay aides and those immediately above them more.  This kind of human-based sysstem works best when those operating it are experienced.  If we want people to make careers in this area and gain that experience, giving them a better financial standing in the healthcare system makes some sense.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Wow

My aide Yodit told me last night that she's going to have a baby-- a girl-- in December.  I never would've guessed she was pregnant, and I'm not alone.  Yodit told me not even the nurses at the nursing home, where she still works, had guessed.

She did promise to come back to work with me after she has the baby.  I hope that works out.  More, though, I hope everything goes right for Yodit and her new daughter.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Dermatologist

I went to a dermatologist yesterday to see about a little growth that had been bothering me.  The doctor took one quick look, almost a glance, and said it was nothing.  She then told me she could freeze it off, along with some skin tags I had.  So, I agreed.   She went at it with a will, finding more and more places to zap.  The burn/freeze business was no fun, but at least she shouldn't have to do it to those spots again,

While there, I needed to "sign" some papers.  In my case, that meant making some kind of mark-- different each time-- while Laura helped guide my hand.  I understand it's the law, but the fact is that anybody could've done what I did and claim it was my mark.  Disputing that in court, if that ever became necessary, would depend more on witnesses, like Laura in this case, than on my mark.  Having me weild a pen in that situation is a convenient legal fiction, it seems, that we all accept.  Laura did say we might need to get a stamp with my name on it that I can use.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Disability Politics

My aide Desma commented yesterday that she'd heard nothing in the current political campaign about the disabled.  Of course, she's right.  Most politicians, probably including the four currently running for national office, no doubt see disability issues as something to be addressed in the context of entitlement reform.  That reform, which will come soon because dealing with government debt demands it, has not been discussed in detail during the campaign as neither side wants to get bogged down in it.  The Democrats, in their heart of hearts, really don't want to reform entitlements; they will do so only reluctantly.  The Republicans argue entitlement reform is necessary for those currently getting benefits to continue to receive them, but they don't want to commit to details before the legislative process begins.  That's sound negotiating practice, but it may leave the GOP vulnerable politically.

The fact is that the disabled is generally seen as a small interest group that the Democrats have sewn up.  That may or may not be accurate, but perception is big in politics, and once a perception becomes accepted fact, changing it is difficult.  In any case, an interest group seen as a creature of one political party is an interest group lacking political clout.  To be able to have real influence, a relatively small group has to put its goals in a larger politiical context, allying itself with larger groups or with strong political trends; it must be ready to support either major party; and it must be able to, from its perspective, positively influence voting.

As the American population continues to age, the concerns of the disabled might become increasingly mainstream.  We'll see if the group has the political skill to build alliances that will bring it a louder national voice.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Getting Out

Desma and I went grocery shopping this morning, and it went well, though by the end I had to go to the bathroom pretty urgently.  I guess I'll just have to deal with that.  It is slowly getting better.

I also have two movies I want to see.  Argo looks interesting, and I think it opens today, and I also want to see the new 007 movie, which opens shortly.  Daniel Craig is no Sean Connery, but then, who of us is?  Going to public lectures on interesting topics would also be fun.  So, we'll see how this works out.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Being Assertive

I'm still working on telling my aides what I want.   My tendency is to ask them to do as little as possible, but that doesn't seem to be the way it's supposed to work.  Today, my aide Cissie told me I had to tell my aides what I want so they can help me do it.

So, I'll work on it.  I see them as other individuals, not simply as my aides, so I'm not comfortable having them do things just because I want something, any more than I'd want them to have me do something on their whim.  But, I'll work on it.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Smoking Aides

I may have written before in this blog about aides who smoke, but it intrigues me.  Some aides at the nursing home smoked, and one of my current aides smokes.  These are people who probably see up close the damage smoking can do to a person, yet they do it, anyway.

Virile young men are clearly not the only people who think they're indestructible.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

My New Couch

My new couch was delivered this morning.  It's chocolae brown, which is neat, and would work well if I get a chocolate Lab puppy.  My brother Jeff, who got the couch for me, had a chocolate Lab named Tyler when he lived in Colorado thirty years ago.  Tyler was a beautiful, sweet dog.  Anyway, now my aides and visitors will have someplace to sit besides the floor, and I'll have a new place to lie and watch television, if I want.

This apartment is increasingly looking like home.  My home.

Monday, October 8, 2012

My Computer

The past few days I've been leaving my computer on all the time.  Before now, it's always been in my bedroom, and I've turned it off each day so I could sleep.  Now, however, it's in another room.

Leaving it on and online is working well.  I have immediate access to my email, for example.  One thing, though-- it throws up empty pages at odd times.  If that happens when I'm really working on something, I can get very annoyed, as in thinking of fiendish things to do to a CPU.  Oh, well.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Getting A Doctor

My new doctor made his first visit yesterday, and he seems to be a nice young man.  I don't know this, of course, but he seems to have the same challenge in growing a full beard that I have.

Anyway, since he was here, I told him about a wee problem I've been having recently, and he's sending me to a dermatologist forthwith.  I probably should have kept my mouth shut.  He'll also be visiting me monthly, which surprised me.  I'd always heard about annual checkups with doctors for healthy people, which he said I seemed to be.   Maybe the monthly visits are mandated by the state program he's working under.  It sounds like something a politician or a bureaucrat would cook up.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Mindset

Things are coming together.  Today, for example, I have my first appointment with my new doctor.  I'm also getting to know my new aides.

I'll have to adopt a slightly different mindset.  Laura keeps reminding me this is my home, and the aides ask me to make decisions about things.  I'll have to learn to become more assertive, and I will.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Showering

I got my first shower in my new place last night,  Yodit gave it to me.  It's a new system for me, and I wanted to do it first with her, so I could see how it would work.

It worked pretty well.  Yodit is a careful planner and very methodical; she planned out each move we did, even though it meant more work for her, and then we moved carefully.  The next step is to do it with somebody else.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Wild Morning With PERS

Yesterday, I got a Personal Emergency Response System, a button you wear around your neck and press if you need help.  Well, I accidentally set the thing off three times this morning.  I guess nobody waived off the response the third time, because presently a team of firefighters came whipping into my apartment, no doubt ready for anything.

After that, Laura decided it'll be good enough if I just have the button within reach when I'm by myself.  I think that's a sound decision.  It'd drive me crazy trying not to set it off.  I have no idea what happened that last time this morning.

Monday, October 1, 2012

New Digs

My new life in my new place has begun.  It's been a busy day-- lots of T-crossing and I-dotting-- but it has gone much smoother than I had expected.  Laura Fife is clearly much better at her job than, say, most members of Congress are at theirs.

There are still things to work out, and I still have to get adjusted to my new life, but I'm off to a great start.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Overtime

In my first post in this blog, I explained how I'd spent my adult life trying to avoid going into a nursing home, and that I'd failed.  I didn't consider the matter closed, however.  I said I was in overtime.

Well, this is my final post from the nursing home.  With help and support from my family, and with the help of Melissa Justice, John Dickerson, and Jill Ginn of the ARC of Indiana, of Laura Fife, Kelly Crawford, and Alicia Patterson of Insights Consulting-- plus, so I understand, people I don't know-- I have won in overtime.  I leave here Monday, to move into my own apartment.  I will miss some of the people here, but I am ready to move into the next phase of my life.  Finally, in my own home.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

My Move Is Truly On

Laura tells me she has moved all my stuff out of my brother Jon's house and into my apartment.  Today, she is coming to move the bookshelves I have here.  This weekend, I'll be out and busy with my sister Kim and brother Joe, and Laura has two appointments set up for me the first day in my new place.

This is a busy, joyous time.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Last Few Days

I'm down to a few more days here.  I'm officially scheduled leave about 10 Monday morning.  It's an exciting time for me.

The aides and nurses who have worked with me the most have said they'll miss me, but they're happy for me.  Charlene even gave me a little hug last week.  I wish she were coming with me, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards.  She has promised to visit me, however.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

It Happened Again

This morning I was sitting on the pot when a nurse came right in and gave me my medicine.  I don't think I'd ever seen her before.

I realize they have to keep to schedules here, but there's also a respect for individuals, and for their privacy.  Those might get short shrift in institutions of this size on occasion.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Sandwiches

For a few weeks now, I've gotten sandwiches most of the time for supper.  Before that, I rarely had sandwiches at all; they gave me good meals at lunch and supper.  I still usually get a good lunch, but suppers have been slipping.

I don't know whether it's a budget matter here or something else, but I just have a week to go here, and then I'll be more in charge of my own menu.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Shower And Meds

Yesterday afternoon, Yodit was giving me a shower when the nurse came in with my nasal spray.  There I was, naked in the shower stall, and she reached in and administered the spray.  It was bizarre.

If a nurse comes to my room with meds, finds me in the bathroom, and gives me the meds while I'm on the toilet-- as has happened-- that's one thing, I suppose.  This nurse, though, knew I was in the shower, and deliberately took the spray in there.  I can only assume she wanted to get her work done early.  The problem is that I'm supposed to get the nasal spray in the evening so I can sleep through the night.  Getting it in the afternoon won't do that.   Oh, well.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Working With Yodit

Today may be the last shift I have Yodit as my aide here.  She told me they're transferring her to the morning shift in another section next week, so she might not work with me here anymore.

The good news is that Yodit will be working with me after my move.  She's a good young woman and a really caring, competent aide, and I trust her absolutely.  I'm very happy she's staying with me.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Waiting For Aides

Last night I hit the call button twice after supper because I needed the bathroom.  Both times I had to wait for more than a half hour.  The aide who helped me that shift told me she wasn't supposed to work this section yesterday.

So, I don't know what's going on here, but in a few more days I won't have to deal with it anymore.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Busy Day

Today has been a busy day.  This morning, Laura and Alicia came over again, this time bringing two represenatives from Tendercare, who kindly explained to me what Tendercare will be doing for me.  A snag in the funding regulations will delay them a few days, but I guess that's what happens with government bureaucracy.

Then, after lunch, Laura took me to the Social Security office to get a paper we need.  I had to be there, but nobody said a word to me.  Unless they have my photo on file, which they may have, she could've brought any guy with her.  After that, Laura took me to the Insights Consulting offices, which are located in an old nursing home, and introduced me to some of the people who work there.  They seemed a nice, friendly bunch.

I also learned today there are still doctors who make house calls.  Will wonders never cease.  Of course, today's technology makes such an approach to medicine more feasible than ever.  I might get one of them as my primary care physician.

It's been a good day.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Getting A Powerchair

Laura and Alicia had Jeff Freehill come over this morning to see about me getting a power wheelchair.  He brought one and had me drive it, just to see what I could do.  I hadn't done that in years, and that chair wasn't set up for me, but I dif pretty well.

Such a chair could let me be more on my own in the outside world.  It's an interesting prospect.  We'll see how it goes.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Physical Therapy

A physical therapist I'd never met before came into my rooms this morning-- around 8 o'clock, no less-- and told me I was to have physical therapy to get me in shape for my move.

Well, that struck me as silly, but I didn't tell her that.  I did tell her I wasn't going to do any therapy.  Two weeks is not enough time to really improve my physical shape, so it would just be busy work to satisfy somebody else, or some regulation.  I'm not interested in busy work.  I also don't have time for busy work.  I'm already busy preparing for the move, keeping up my two blogs, etc.  I also have a column to write for my syndication arrangement.  All that, and I'm never sure when I'm going to get lunch and supper, which complicates my work.  So, no therapy.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

No Clean Underwear

I'm wearing Depends at the moment, not because I need them, but bexause I had no clean underwear.  They take my shorts to the laundry and bring them back whenever.  It's frustrating.

I'll have a washer/dryer in my apartment, so my clothes will only leave my home when I'm wearing them once I get there.  That will be one fewer variable in my life.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Maybe A Hiccup

If my funding is not in place in time, the schedule we've worked out for my aides might have to be delayed.  If so, I'll have 24/7 aide care using emergency funding until my regular funding comes through.  It could be up to two weeks after my move until my regular schedule is in place.

I'm not thrilled with the idea of having somebody around all the time, but if it happens at all, hopefully it will only be for a short time.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Coming Together

This is shaping up as a big week for me.  Jeff plans to buy me a new bed this week.  Insights has contacted Yodit about working with me at my new place, and Yodit is happy to do it if everything works out.  Laura is also bringing over a possible staff member to meet me,

Next week, activity will probably go up another notch.  Quite a time.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Interesting Experiment

Friday night I used a urinal in bed, and did just fine, except I got stopped up and couldn't breathe.  The next two nights I've gotten up and gone to the bathroom, and I haven't got stopped up.  I figure being upright for a few minutes lets my sinuses drain so I can get back to sleep.

Isn't biology strange?  Who would've thought the bladder was connected to the sinuses?

Friday, September 7, 2012

The Home Stretch

This morning, Jeff and I went over to Nora Commons.  We looked at three more apartments, and I chose one.  Laura Fife, Alicia Patterson, and Kimberly Kaba were all us, too, to work out the paperwork.

Now, after all these years, I finally have a home of my own.  I chose a fourth floor apartment that looks down into the building's courtyard.  As of September 25, it will officially be mine, which will give us a week to move my stuff in before I move over October 1  I'm eager for October to get here..

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Taking My Meds

I was sitting on the toilet trying to pee yesterday when a nurse brought my medicine.  Did she wait, or, heaven forbid, come back?  Oh, no-- she brought the pills into the bathroom and gave them to me while I sat on the pot.  I've also had them bring medicine before I was even out of bed.  They've also brought their blood pressure measuring apparatus into my room in the middle of the night.

I understand they have schedules to keep here.  I also understand nurses have seen it all.  However, there are also such values as human digmity and respect.  Usually, I get that here-- I definitely get that from those who know me-- but every once in a while, it breaks down a bit.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Slippery Floor

The bathroom floors here are tiled, and right after maintenance cleans them, they are very slippery.  I've always thought that was dangerous for a place with so many elderly residents, but I guess management knows what it's doing.  Still, my aide Carrie slipped and fell in my bathroom this morning right after the cleaning lady did her thing in there.  Luckily, Carrie was fine.

I plan on getting a rug for my bathroom, so I won't slip in there.  The last thing I need is a broken hip.  I've slipped here, but my aides have always kept me from being hurt.  If Carrie and I had gone down together today, it would not have been pretty.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Delaying Things

I had Yodit in the morning shift today.  Unfortunately, so did everybody else in this section.  Yodit brought my breakfast later than usual, and apologized for that, saying she was the only aide working in this section, so she had to get everybody up and dressed herself.  My lunch was also later, presumably for much the same reason.

I try to establish a routine when it comes to my bathroom visits, which is really the only reason I use the call button.  A routine makes things easier for me and for my aides, since I can call them less often if I can get adjusted to a consistent schedule.  Obviously, delays throw off my plans.  I was able to get things back on track today, but I'm looking forward to the time such things won't happen in my own place.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Defensive Medicine

Saturday evening, I bumped my head getting out of my wheelchair.  It was no big deal, but my aide at the time, who seems to be a nervous young woman, reported it to the nurse, who came along to check it out.  Since then, they've taken my blood pressure every day.

It wa just a bump-- no blood, no pain after the event-- but they monitor my condition, anyway.  There's no reason to think anything is wrong, but we still do the blood pressure thing.  Yes, there is some small chance a bad thing could result from the bump, but the main reason for the follow up is to legally protect the nursing home.  It's called defensive medicine.  The doctor is obliged to order things to build a record to defend the company against possible legal action.  Such medicine, ultimately directed by lawyers, results in performing unnecssaey procedures, and drives efforts at tort reform in the medical practice area.

It's true, having my blood pressure taken is merely an annoyance, nothing more.  It's also true, I suppose, that it might actually be medically useful, but life is finally about the odds.  The odds are these tests are for legal reasons, not medical ones.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Beginning To Really Roll

Next week, we are scheduled to sign the lease for my new apartment.  Also, we are scheduling an appointment with a fellow who'll help me get certain equipment I'll need.  Plus, just today, I was put in email contact with the lady who will be the team leader of my aides, and we will build the team together.  I will meet her in person next week. too.

There are other things to do, as well.  September is going to be a busy month.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Great News

Well, I went to my urologist this morning, and he scoped me,, examining my bladder.  He found no cancer, which is really good news.  He also decided I need no more treatments.  I still have to have a scope every few months, but as long as that shows all good stuff, I'll need nothing more.  That's great news.

Not having to deal with the treatments and their after effects this next month will simplify the moving process..  Now, I'll be able to go out when I need to.  Now also, when I move, my new aides and I will be able to get to know each other in fairly normal circumstances.  That's great news, too.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Tomorrow Morning

I go to the urologiist again tomorrow morning for another probing.  Hopefully, he'll find I'm still free of cancer.  If I am, the pattern has been to start a round of treatments at the same appointment.

Going through a set of treatments and recovering from them while doing everything involved in my move will be a challenge.  We'll just have to find ways to get through the next six weeks or so.

Ain't nuthin' easy.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Timetables

If all goes as Laura has planned, I will be in my new home October 1, or, as she put it, in time to give myself a birthday bash.  My birthday is October 4.

This might be a good time to be leaving here.  For the past few weeks, I've been getting a lot of sandwiches for supper; presumably, so has everyone else.  Maybe that's because we've been in the summer doldrums, but they also seem to be having staff problems.  Corporate has been here checking things out today, and things seem not to be going really smoothly.  Of course, I have a limited window into what goes on here, but if this place is headed down, I'll hopefully be gone.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Picking Up Speed

There are lots of things to get done before I can move, and Laura is working hard to get everything organized.  We have paperwork to complete, my staff of aides to build, furniture to buy, and lots of details to work out.

September is shaping up to be quite a month.  My beloved Pittsburgh Pirates are even still in the running for a spot in the baseball playoffs after twenty straight losing seasons.  Wow!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Good News

By working with the scheduling of the aides I'll need, we've been able to stretch the budget I was given to the point that we can now go ahead with my move.  We're now discussing nuts and bolts stuff-- finalizing an aide schedule, actually leasing an apartment, nailing down the details of living.  This is a great, exciting time for me.

October 1 is still possible as a move date.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

More Aide Stuff

Last evening, the aide who gave me supper stood through the whole process, which told me she didn't intend to stay long.  To be fair, Yodit sometimes stands while feeding me, too, but she always gives me all I want.  Anyway, I was right about yesterday. We got through supper quickly, which was fine, but she didn't bring me anything to drink with the meal; she just gave me one drink of water that was already in my room.

I'm so tired of dealing with all these different aides, several of whom don't seem overly interested in really applying themselves.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Bureaucratic Battles?

We're still trying to figure out why the preliminary decision to give me the funding I need to live by myself was not accepted in the final decison.  As it is now, I'm short 6 aide/hours a day, which is not good.  Since my bladder cancer, I have to use the bathroom several times a day, so I need someone with me virtually all the time.  Otherwise, I'd absolutely prefer 6 hours a day on my own.

There is the possibility that I'm caught in a bureaucratic mess.  Simplified, we are dealing with three piles of money I could access-- except if I draw from one pile, I can't necessarily draw from one of the others.   Each pile is administered by its own rules for specific groups.  The idea being, no doubt, to maintain control over those monies by closely defining how they may be used.  Guarding against misuse of taxpayer's money is a good thing, of course, and reform efforts generally try to limit the power of bureaucrats by writing tight rules.

Individuals, and the needs of individuals, however, don't fit in tight little boxes.  A better reform approach may be to put the money in a larger pool, write more general rules governing how it can be used, and allow administrators to use their judgement and experience.  They would be monitored, of course, by legislativve oversight committees, the governor's staff, the press, advocacy groups, the people directly involved, and eventually, if necessary, the courts.  Flexibility is critical when dealing with human needs.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

A Setback

Well, the final decision from the state about funding for me didn't go my way.  The budget I was assigned is less than we had hoped.  So, the timeline for my move will likely be delayed-- just as I was getting fired up about being out of here shortly.

Laura is still working for me, though, and she is really resourceful.  She already has some creative ideas on how we might make the funding work.  I'll just have to wait and see what develops.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Possibly Down To Weeks

In an email she sent me today, Laura said chances were good that I could be in my own home by October 1.  That's the first real date I've had in this process.

We're now waiting for the state to finalize my budget.  Laura says she's getting impatient for that to happen, so I suppose it could happen any day.  I'm so eager to get on with this.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Calm Water Ahead

If all goes as planned, Charlene will be my morning shift aide for the next several days.  Also, Yodit is due back from vacation next week, and, with luck, she will be my evening shift aide on a more regular basis again.

That kind of consistency is what I hope I will get in my own home.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Getting Closer

Laura, the lady shepherding my case through the bureaucratic thickets, told me yesterday we may get the funding we need to secure aide help I need without bringing in housemates, or without doing any fancy bureaucratic footwork to get the staffing hours I need.  Laura has nimble tootsies, but if the BRQ, as it's called, goes my way, the funding will be clean.

Better yet, if this decision goes my way, we'll be able to proceed immediately to building a staff of aides for me and begin the moving process.  A preliminary decision has already been in my favor; we are waiting for the final one.  As Laura said, it's fingers crossed time.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Drinking

Last evening, an aide brought my supper, but didn't bring anything for me to drink.  She just gave me water that was already in my room, and not much of that.  It was the second time recently an aide has brought me supper minus a drink.

I've made it clear to the nurse here that I'm supposed to have plenty to drink every day.  So have my brothers Jeff and Jon.  It's in my file.  My usual aides do a good job.  Still, some aides don't bother.

I'm thrrough trying to make a change.  I'll just hope I have my reliable aides most of the time until I can move out.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Feeding And Aides

It's interesting how different aides approach feeding differently.  Some settle in and do a good job.  Others don't.

Sunday, for example, I had an aide I've had a few times.  She's okay otherwise, but she makes it clear she's not into feeding.  She gives me the minimum food and drink.  Sunday, she fooled with her hair all through my lunch.  Yes, I could ask for more, but it's frustrating.  By the time she's ready to stop, I'm ready to stop.

Hopefully, in my own home, I'll only have to deal with a few aides, all of whom will be interested in doing their job properly.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Apartment Hunting

Saturday was a big day in my life.  For the first time, I went looking for a home of my own.  Mom, my brother Jeff, my sister Kim, and Laura from Insights Consulting were all with me.

We looked at a model apartment in a seniors only building.  I don't much like being a senior, but that's in fact what I am.  The apartment was terrific. I'd expected to look at one-bedroom apartments, but the one we concentrated on had two and rent per month that is only a bit more than rent on a single bedroom.  That would give me the option of using the smaller bedroom as my computer room, which really interests me.  I might also be able to get a dog, which also interests me.  I love dogs, and I've always felt safer when we had one.

I really feel we are building momentum on this project now.  We still have some hurdles to get over, but actually getting out and looking at a place I might live feels like a big step forward.

Friday, August 10, 2012

In The Weeds

We are still in the bureaucratic weeds in the process of nailing down my new life, trying to determine exactly which government money I qualify to get, and which I should take, because that can have a bearing on what other funding I could get.  It's all very complicated.

Of course, politics in democratic societies are complicated.  Too often today, that truth is ignored, as American politicians roll out "solutions" to the nation's woes, and refuse to compromise.  Compromise and reform will be necessary across government in the years ahead, including in the funding programs I'll be using.  Ideally, the process of accessing such funding can be streamlined, simplified, and broadened in available resources, to aid a maximum number of people even if overall resource totals are not increased.  We will soon see how able our political leaders actually are.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Waiting

Last evening, I hit the call button because I had to go to the bathroom.  Nobody came for a half hour.  It was a painful, unpleasant half hour.  Yodit was my aide that shift, and she eventually came.  I know she would have come sooner if she could have.

In my own place, with an aide with me 24/7 in a thousand square foot apartment, I would no longer have to wait.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Eating Times

Yesterday, I didn't get lunch until well after 12:30, and didn't finish until after 1.  Fair enough; they get busy, especially because they seem to be short-staffed.  But then they brought supper at 4:30.

It's frustrating.  I never know when my meals will come, so planning any major work on my computer is impossible.  In my own home, I'll have more control over my daily schedule.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Sleeping

It's a good thing I've never needed much sleep, because I'm not getting much lately.  I'm still having to pee three times a night.  The way things work here, when I have to go I press the call button and wait.  The wait could be ten minutes, or twenty minutes, and during that wait I get wide awake.  So, after I go, it takes me a while to get back to sleep.  Doing that three times a night means I miss quite a bit of sleep per night.  I've taken to going to bed a bit earlier than normal and reading in bed less.

This is not a knock on the aides here; they are good about helping me, but this is a big place.  In my own place, my aide could get to me quickly, and hopefully I could get more sleep.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Liquids

I had a new aide give me lunch yesterday, and again I got very little liquid.  She didn't even bring a drink with the meal; she just gave me a couple drinks from water that was already sitting in my room.  Happily, Charlene gave me breakfast, and I had Yodit on the evening shift.  They give me plenty to drink, so liquid intake yesterday wasn't a problem.

Still, it's strange and frustrating how different aides approach the same job differently.

Friday, August 3, 2012

New Aide Stuff

I had a young aide last night.  She gave me a shower.  I suspected she'd never done it by herself before, and it turned out I was right.  I wasn't thrilled about her doing it, especially since a television show I wanted to see was starting, but we did it, and we got through it okay.

In my own place, I'll be able to schedule showers when I want them, and have aides I know and trust.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Eyes, Ears....

A few weeks ago, I was given an eye exam here at the nursing home.  Waiting for it killed the morning, and the exam confirmed what I already knew.  I see just fine.  This morning, I had my hearing checked, and the audiologist said I hear better than she does.

Hopefully, I'll be out of hear before they get around to the nose and throat business.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

More Developments

Things are really beginning to bubble in my attempt to get my own home.  I will need an aide 24/7, and finding funding for that is a challenge.  Laura Fife of Insights Consulting, however, is a resourceful young woman.  She is piecing together possible arrangements that would allow me to live on my own, which is my preference.

Through her work, I have a couple of options that might work out.  Details need nailing down, and some things need to go my way, but we have real plans now.  It's exciting.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Drooling

For whatever reason, I seem to be drooling more lately.  It's a nasty thing to do, and I hate doing it.  I suppose it's another facet of my control thing, like my problem with my urination.  Though I've never had complete control of my body, I've prided myself in controlling what I could.  That's slipped a bit lately.

Of course, the past few months have been tough for me.  Maybe if my life settles down, the drooling will slow.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Nitty Gritty

We are now at the point in the process of getting me my own place where we are trying to piece together a  way to get me the aide support I need to live alone.  It's an exciting time, as that is what I've always wanted.

It's turning out to be complicated.  The government, in its wisdom, has separated the available money into various, smaller piles, each of which is supposed to serve a particular population.  That may work in theory, but in practice it can mean individuals can get caught in the cracks.  Individuals, not legalistic definitions of groups and subgroups, should drive such programs.

Making the programs work for individuals who don't fit neat definitions requires political acumen and creativity. Fortunately, the people working on my behalf have both.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Looking For Housemates

Soon, possibly beginning next week, I'll start meeting potential housemates.   When I find someone I can live with, that will be the next major step towards really transitioning out of here.  Finding such a person might be difficult, but we will have one thing immediately in common-- a strong desire to make such an arrangement work.  We will have to guard against letting that desire overwhelm other factors, but it will also be a powerful positive.

It also looks like I might be living right in Indianapolis.  That'd be quite a change for a boy who grew up in Muncie seeing Indianapolis as the "big city."  Indeed, it is the eleventh largest city in the nation.  Settling there will have some advantages.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Cutting Lines

Monday afternoon, workers cut the cable television line here, and we had no TV until Tuesday morning.  This afternoon, somebody cut the power line, and this section was without power for about an hour.

From what I hear, the home is also having staffing problems.   I might be leavimg here at a good time.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Eating Supper

The aide who gave me supper last night talked on her cell right through it.  She was talking to her husband, boyfriend, or whatever, and they were having problems.  I had to prompt her to keep giving me bites.

It was annoying.  Not only was I trying to eat, but I wasn't interested in hearing her stuff.  She was fine otherwise, though.  She did everything I needed done or asked her to do through the evening.

I'm so ready to be dealing with only a few aides in my own home rather than the parade of new ones I have to deal with here.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

No Cable

We haven't had cable television here since 1:30 yesterday afternoon.  Since many residents here probably spend their days watching television, that would seem to be a priority problem; even aides have told me they miss it.  Yet, it still hasn't been fixed.

Of course, I have no idea what the problem is.  Perhaps it's something fiendishly complex.  The truth is, I couldn't get my old VCR to work yesterday.  But I don't get paid to make that work.

We're supposed to have cable back today.  I certainly hope we do.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Transitioning

I'm finally beginning to transition from Depends back to regular underwear.  I had an accident yesterday, but I'm doing better today.  This is a step towards being able to go out and see places I might live and meeting possible housemates, so I really want to get squared away quickly.

If I could get to the bathroom on my own, this wouldn't be an issue, but having to call and wait on aides makes it tough.  That's nothing against the aides here.  They've been great these past few weeks.  It is, however, the nature of the situation in a large nursing home.

In my own place, with an aide there at all times, I'd hopefully have an easier time.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Back In My Old Digs

This morning I was moved back into my regular rooms, and it feels good to be back.

Hopefully.I'll be able to re-establish my routine with my regular aides so I can more easily focus on the process of getting my own home.  That continues to move ahead, and I'm happy and excited about that.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Timing Things Out

An aide stuck her head in my door early this morning and told me she'd be right with me.  So, I waited.  And waited.  After an hour, I hit my call button, and she came soon thereafter.  I don't know if she was waiting for me even as I was waiting for her or what.  I did hear a few alarms go off while waiting, and she told me it'd been a busy morning, so maybe I was kicked down the priority list until I hit the button for good reasons.

Of course, in my own home, with my own aides, that won't happen.  My time will again have value.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Looking Ahead

Now that I have people actively helping me get my own place, plus the real possibility I could have that in a matter of several weeks, I'm increasingly looking ahead.  I'm eager to begin meeting aides who might be part of my team, eager to begin looking at houses and apartments that might be my home soon, and eager to meet possible housemates.  The next few weeks will be busy, and even chaotic compared to my usual routine, but I want to get going.

Of course, looking forward to all that makes me more impatient when it comes to dealing with the daily issues I have here.  That should be easier when I'm back in my usual rooms.  Wherever I am and whoever I have to deal with, I need to remember to keep blocking and tackling-- keep doing what I should do here-- for a few more weeks.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Reforming The System

As the political campaigns bore through the summer heat, reforming various government programs is clearly on the agenda-- and just as clearly, delivering on that agenda will have to wait until after the election.

Interlocking reforms look to be necessary.  Simplifying the tax code, reforming entitlements, and cutting defense spending seem to be the elements attracting majority support in the effort to get the government's finances under control.  Alas, as always, the devil is in the details.

Supporting people in their attempts to move out of nursing homes is, in the big picture, a detail.  It's also, however, something that would resonate with most people if presented to them clearly and simply.  Americans respond to arguments grounded in a need for freedom and imdependence.  A series in a major newspaper might do it, or a series of television news reports, or perhaps television ads put forward by a PAC.  Getting the program in front of the people before legislative battles fire up in earnest again might pay dividends.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Trying Times

Two of my favorite aides, Charlene and Carrie, came to visit me today, just to see how I'm doing over here.  They're both really sweet ladies, and they both said they miss me.

I miss being over there, too.  I'm becoming increasingly frustrated because I don't know how much longer I'll be here.  One person tells me I should be back in my old rooms any day, while another person tells me it'll be about two more weeks.  I dislike living in such limbo, as I suppose most people do.  On top of that, I'm eager to get on with my home project, still dealing with my urination problems, and adjusting to this new sectiion.

It's tough on me.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Noisy Place

I had my aide Yodit on the morning shift today.  It was good to work with her again, though she did seem distracted.

Yodit told me this room is more expensive than the other one, but it's also noisier.  It opens directly to the main hall, whereas my bedroom in the other unit does not.  They do close the door here, which is good.  I still hear lots of stuff at night, though.

I'm looking forward to quiet nights in my own place.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Countdown

Millie, the social worker here, told me yesterday we should be out of our original rooms for no more than eight days.  If so, I could be back there any day.  I'm looking forward to getting back there, where I have a bit more privacy, a little more quiet, and, presumably, the aides I know best.

Millie, by the way, is a very kind lady who is totally behind my effort to move out of here.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Scary Shower

The room I'm using now has its own private shower, and we used it last night.  It was a scary time.  The shower chair in there is high, and the seat is small, and I was constantly afraid of falling off.  Of course, when I got wet, I got slippery, which didn't help at all.  Nor did the cold water.  There was no hot water.

I could imagine myself slipping on that tile and breaking a hip or something.  The aide did put a towel under my feet, which helped, but she also kept leaving me alone in there, to get my clothes or whatever.

Hopefully, I'll be back in my old rooms before the next shower.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

So Far, So Good

I've been lucky so far in this new room to have some aides I've had before-- I even had Charlene yesterday morning.  That makes it easier for me.  Charlene even came to visit me Sunday morning, just to make sure everything was going okay for me.  She's a very sweet lady.

The aide I had Sunday evening is a nice guy, but he left me two or three times while giving me supper.  I doubt that's proper procedure.  If I'd choked while he was away, this company would probably have been opened to a big lawsuit, but he was looking after other residents.  Charlene told me she had nothing to do all weekend because all the people in that section had been relocated.  Why they didn't shift those aides to where they had residents is not clear to me.

Hopefully, I'll be back in my old rooms soon, but nobody is saying when that might happen.

Monday, July 9, 2012

What A Day

I spent this morning waiting in line for an eye exam.  The exam itself took maybe ten minutes, and confirmed what I already knew-- my eyes are fine, even though the right eye is a bit nearsighted.

After lunch, I had to get weighed, and came in at 100 pounds.

After that, my brother Jeff and I met with Kelly Crawford and Laurie Fife of Insights Consulting about getting my own home and hiring aides.  They were quite impressive, and we are going with them.  The next few weeks will be busy, but I will be in the middle of the process, which is very nice.  Kelly said I could be out of here by September or October, which would be very nice indeed.

It has been quite a day.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Special Weekend Post

Well, the water pipe situation I mentioned yesterday evolved after that to the point that the whole section was temporarily moved into other rooms.

So, now I'll be in this room, perhaps for several days, adjusting to new surroundings not set up for my convenience the way my room is, and adjusting to a new set of aides and how they do things-- all the while still dealing with my urination problem.

On Monday afternoon, I have a meeting with a representative from a home healthcare company to learn how that company would approach assigning and providing aides for me 24/7 in a private home setting.  She has already given me the bare bones of what they do via email, and it sounds really good.  I'm eager to learn more-- and more than ready to keep the process moving forward..

Friday, July 6, 2012

Excitement This Afternoon

A water pipe broke down my hall this afternoon, and I was evacuated from my rooms because there was flooding down the way.  I was gone for maybe 45 minutes.

It could've been worse, however.  They determined my rooms weren't affected.  If they had been, I would have been moved to another room until they got things squared away.  That would have been a pain.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Crossed Fingers Time

Well, with the help of my friend Chrissy, I have prepared and sent proposals to two well respected New York literary agencies, following up on pitches Chrissy made on my behalf to agents from those agencies at a writers conference she attended in June.  Each proposal is for a different novel I've written, as well, so that gives me two legitimate shots at success.

Chrissy was also able to give editors from a small press a synopsis and a sample chapter of one of my novels, so I have some possibilities bubbling.  Now, I have to wait and see if any of those possibilities actually develop into anything.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

My Disappearing Pants II

I must have nine or ten pairs of pants here.  That certainly should be enough to keep my lower half clothed at all times.  Occasionally, though, it's not.  Last night, I was down to my last pair, trying very hard not to pee in them.  Luckily, with the help of three willing aides, I was able to avoid that indignity.

They wash my laundry here, and I'm not sure exactly how it works, but I've run low on pants before, as noted in this blog.  Indeed, my brother Jeff bought me three new pair just a few weeks ago to avoid precisely this situation.  I can go through pants fairly quickly right after my cancer treatment, but I don't think I've been doing that lately, so I don't know what the problem is.  Even though the laundry lady brings clothes back to my room about every morning, my pants seem to go out and stay out for a while.  It's strange.

Of course, if I had my own home complete with a washer and dryer, this wouldn't be a problem.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

My Daily Meds

When a nurse comes to give you your medication here, that nurse means to get it done.

I take three pills daily, and the nurse can bring them any time throughout the day-- morning, noon, or night.  Today, a nurse brought the pills and some water before I was even out of bed.  She stood there waiting, holding the stuff, so I got out of bed and took the pills, and then got back in bed so it'd be easier for my aide to get me dressed.

I know they have to give lots of people lots of medication here, and I understand they have to keep to some schedule, but rest is surely also important.  She didn't come unreasonably early, but she did see I was still in bed.

Oh, well.  That's part of living in a large institution, I suppose.  In my own home I could take my medicine when it was convenient for me to do so.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Looking For Housemates

My case manager has already sent me some possible housemates.  That pleases me.  I had been concerned the process may slow down at this stage.

In fact, I seem to be what's slowing things down at the moment.  It's been a month now since my last cancer treatment, and I'm still struggling with my urination.  I still can't get too far away from the bathroom.  It's getting very old very fast.  Soon, hopefully, I'll be able to push this process forward myself.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Taking A Shot

My friend Chrissy was over yesterday afternoon, telling me about what she'd learned at the writers conference she attended last weekend-- and about the editors and literary agents she pitched my novels.

Chrissy and I are now strategizing how best to approach the agents, following her pitch and their interest with solid proposals from me.  I'm finally getting to take a real shot at the big time, thanks to Chrissy.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Affordable Healthcare Act

In a 5-4 decision, the U. S. Supreme Court has upheld most of the Affordable Healthcare Act, usually called Obamacare.

The law faced two threats to its survival this year-- this decision, and the possibility that Republicans, who vow to repeal the act if they win the upcoming elections.  So, the fate of Obamacare is now back in the political arena, which is probably where it should be.

How this will affect the reform to help people move out of nursing homes if they wish is unclear.  If the nursing home industry decides to try to use whatever political muscle it has to maintain its market share of the old and the infirm, reformers may face a challenge.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Getting By

When I have my main aides, getting through my day can be simple.  Umfortunately, with Yodit seemingly out of the picture, I'm down to relying on Charlene in the morning shift and working through the evening shift with whoever comes.

Charlene has had the last two days off.  Yesterday, I had a really nice lady who did a good job, except she didn't pull the Depends tight on me-- she just pulled my pants up over them--  and when I peed in them, the pee leaked out.  Today, a student aide gave me breakfast.  It was frustrating.  He kept up a running commentary about the food right through the meal.  When giving me a bite, he actually said, "Here it comes."  The menu ticket that came with the food said I had apple juice and prune juice, and that's what he called my drinks all the way through, even though they were in fact orange juice and Ensure.  The same guy gave me lunch, and gave me the chatterbox routine again.

Consistency of care, hopefully, will be much better when I have my own home and a small team of aides to provide the care.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Decision Time

The United States Supreme Court is scheduled to announce its decision this week on the constitutionality of the healthcare reform plan passed by Congress in 2010.  The Court won't have the final word, however.  If it upholds the law, Republicans are committed to repealing "Obamacare" if they are swept to power in November.  If all or parts of the law are struck down, the Democrats can be relied upon to try to work around the ruling.  Such is the way of American governance.

The stakes are huge, not only politically but financially, as well.  A welter of issues interact in any attempt to reform the nation's healthcare delivery system, and among those is how the elderly and disabled will live.  There is a nationwide movement underway to de-emphasize the role of nursing homes and aid those who wish to live in a private home, group home, etc.  How that effort will fit into the overall structure is not yet clear.  If supporting people in less institutional settings turns out to be revenue neutral, the idea might be decided on its merits.  If, however, that approach is seen as being more expensive for the government, proponents of the approach might have to be particularly persuasive.

A lot is riding on the Supreme Court decision later this week, on the results of Election Day, and on what Congress and state legislatures do over the next few years.

Monday, June 25, 2012

My Writing

My friend Chrissy is pursuing her master's of fine arts in writing.  Part of that involved spending the last few days meeting with book publishers, book editors, and literary agents.  Chrissy told me she was willing to pitch some of the novels I've written to those people if she got the chance, so I emailed her some of my stuff that she could show them.

Well, she got the chance, and she must have done a good job on my behalf.  She tells me a couple editors plus agents from two prominent agencies are all interested in my work.

If I could start selling my novels, that would fundamentally change my life.  I'm eager to find out where these opportunities might lead.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Shower Day

My shower days here are Mondays and Thursdays, but I didn't get one yesterday.  The aide on the evening shift was a young woman I've had work with me several times.  What she does, she does well, but she tends not to seek out extra work-- at least, that's my impression.  To be fair, I've only asked her for extra once-- last night, to give me one of Charlene's brownies-- and she had no problem with it.

Maybe she didn't know I was supposed to get a shower.  They have files on the residents here for the staff, but it's clear new aides often haven't read mine, for example.  I didn't say anything about the shower because they sometimes do it as late as nine o'clock, so I was waiting.  By the time I saw they weren't going to do it, it was too late at night to fool with.

Yodit was the one who generally gave me a shower, so this is another example of what I'm missing without her.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Brownie Time

As Charlene promised, she brought me some of her homemade brownies this morning, but it wasn't quite the way she'd intended.  She told me she'd made brownies yesterday to bring me, but her kids ate them all.  So, Charlene got up about 5 this morning and made some more for me-- even though she has her brand new grandson living with her.  From my experience, that could mean sleep at night is limited for mom, dad, and grandma.  Charlene is a terrific lady.

On another matter, my urination problem is improving, but I still have it.  I'm going less frequently, with more volume and less pain, but I'm still going far too often to go back to regular underwear.  My aides have been great about it, though, and I try to work st so I'm not constantly calling them.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Relationships

Well, my aide Charlene made the brownies yesterday, but she forgot to bring them today.  She promises to bring them yet this week, though.  I'm very fond of Charlene.  She's a good woman, and she takes very good care of me.  If Yodit is out of the picture on a regular basis, I'll depend on Charlene more and more as my main aide.  Without Yodit on the evening shift, however, half my waking day might be a struggle now.

Several aides have been rotating on the evening shift, and I get tired of trying to remember how each of them work and trying to adjust to them.  Honestly, it doesn't help that I'm still struggling to get beyond the cancer treatments.

Maybe I'm going at this the wrong way, however.  Maybe I should just take the aides here as people who do their jobs and let it go at that, but I want some personal connections with people who do so much for me.  I had that kind of connection with Yodit-- still will, when I have her for a shift-- and now I have it with Charlene.  I want that connection with the aides who will be in my home.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Aides By Sections

I haven't had my favorite aide, Yodit, for a few weeks.  I miss her.  She would do anything for the people in her care, and she's a kind and generous young woman.  Yesterday, she gave me supper and told me why she hasn't been around.

It seems the man in the room next to mine gives the staff a hard time, and Yodit finaly decided she could no longer deal with him on a regular basis.  The last few days she worked with me I could tell something was bothering her.  The problem seems to be that aides are assigned sections here, not individuals.  They work with everybody in a section.  So, if an aide can't work with one person in the section, that aide can't work that section.

I suppose that means I won't have Yodit regularly anymore.  That would be a real loss for me.  I suppose it's possible they could get this guy under control, but I hear him yelling at night sometimes, so I'm not getting my hopes up.

Of course, if I had my own home, my aides would only have to deal with me and a housemate or two.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Brownie Time

My aide Charlene promised me a while ago that she would make me brownies when I reached 100 pounds.  Well, she weighed me again this morning, and I tipped the electronic scales at 99.9 pounds.  We both thought that was close enough.

So, she promised to make the brownies. Tomorrow is a day off for her, so she said she'll make the brownies tomorrow and brimg them in to me Wednesday.  Charlene is a good aide and a kind, caring woman.

The staff tells me it's been wild around here lately.  I hope I get someone I know and like in Charlene's stead tomorrow.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Family Reunion

Last weekend, an infrequent Anderson family reunion was held in Knoxville, Tennessee.  I didn't go, but my brother Jon and his family did.  One of the cousins is really into genealogy, and she's done extensive research into the Anderson family roots.  She even got DNA from Uncle Walt in order to do a study of where the family originated based upon genetic characteristics.  It turns out from that study that at least one line of the family came from Scandinavia.  We are Vikings, raiders and traders across Europe and much of Asia, and discoverers of North America five hundred years before Columbus sailed into the Caribbean.

Jon also told me that wood shacks, some with blue tarps for roofs, are still in the hills outside Knoxville, home to poor people.  Politicians and economists like to debate economic policy, and it's clear capitalism in its various stripes has produced more wealth for more people than any other economic theory to date.  Poverty remains, however, and, all else to one side, poverty is a brake on the economy.  It limits productivity and forces resources to be allocated to areas that do not maximize wealth creation.  Clearly, for all its strengths, capitalism is an incomplete economic theory.  But, of course, economics as a discipline has only been around for fewer than three centuries.  A more robust, rigorous theory that contemplates opportunity and basic needs and individual choice may be in the future.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Still Improving

It's been nearly two weeks since my last bladder cancer treatment of that set.  I thought I'd be back to normal by now, but that hasn't happened quite yet.  The pain when I urinate is much less, and I'm going more when I do go, but I'm still wearing Depends because I'm still going so frequently.  It's not quite as often now, and I can hold it longer now, but I still go many times a day.  Hopefully I'll be back in regular underwear in a few days.

When I am back to normal, we can go ahead with my home project.  My case manager is already contacting provider agencies, and we agree there is one agency I should look into.  We are trying to arrange a meeting with a representative of that agency now.  I'm eager to have that meeting-- and to get back to normal.

I'm also sure everybody who reads this blog has had quite enough of my bathroom issues.  Sorry about that.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Frustrating Time

I'm getting back in control of myself a bit at a time.  Last night, I called for an aide before urinating.  She didn't come for twenty minutes, and I wet myself in the meantime, but being in control that much is progress.

This morning, if my aide had come at the usual time, I was ready.  I didn't have my regular aide, however, and nobody came.  After a while I hit the call button.  An aide came about 45 minutes later.  By then, though, I'd wet myself.  Twice.

That aide also gave me breakfast.  All through the meal, she talked on her cellphone, first to her boyfriend, and then to a girlfriend about the boyfriend.  Feeding me-- doing her job-- was not her main focus.  I so wanted to grab the cellphone and fling it.  Eating took twice as long as it should have.  To be fair, I should say the same aide gave me lunch, and that went just fine.  She was still fiddling with the cellphone, but she wasn't talking to anybody.

If I had my own aides in my own home, all that could be avoided.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Aides

By now, I have developed a confidence and comfort level with a number of aides here, but I still get aides that I don't know.  That happened this morning.  She seems to be a nice lady, and we got through the basic requirements.

From what I've picked up from the staff, it seems this place is again having turnover issues.  Maybe it does constantly, I don't know.  Presumably, the strategy of institutions in such circumstances is to maintain a core of staffers, and bring in others as needed.  It's not the ideal way to build an organization-- if that's in fact how it works-- but if you're filling relatively demanding yet low wage jobs, it's probably what usually happens.

We are in the midst of a national debate about healthcare.  One element in that debate should concern the role healthcare aides will play in the future, both in nursing homes and in less structured settings, like group homes or private homes.  Holding the best people will likely mean more respect, more benefits, and more money for those who accept the responsibility for the daily physical care of our loved ones.  That will be tough to achieve in these budget-cutting times, but such care must be fit into an overall healthcare policy.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Finally Improving

Well, my physical situation is finally getting better.  Last Friday it was still bad, and I was getting frustrated, but Saturday things were much better, yesterday was better still, and today is better again.  I'm still going too frequently, but the intervals are getting longer, the pain is lessening, and I'm getting more control over the whole process.   In a few days, I'll be able to focus on more productive things again.

Also-- Charlene weighed me again this morning, and I'm up to 99 pounds-- well, okay, 98.9 pounds, and that's fully clothed.  Still, it's the most I've weighed since they started weighing me here, so it's positive.  Charlene is still promising to make brownies for me when I crack 100, so maybe she'll have to do that yet this month.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Still Struggling

I'm still trying to get over my treatments.  I'm still urinating extremely frequently, and it's still painful.  I have discovered that if I'm upright when I go, the urine will stay in the Depends instead of leaking out on my pants.  So, every few minutes when I'm lying on the floor watching television I get up on my knees, go a little, and lie back down.  It happens too often, and the need hits too quickly for me to get an aide in here every time.  Anyway, I'm not going through all my pants like I was after the first treatment.

I guess the problem is that my urinary tract was invaded and messed with three times in about two weeks.  My insides didn't have time to heal completely before they went in again, and again.  So, now I'm dealing with the accumulated effects of the three times.  I can't remember how long it usually takes me to get back to normal following these treatments, but I hope it happens soon.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Suppertime

Supper comes here any time from just before five to well after six-- and when it comes, it's time to eat no matter what I'm doing.  If I'm still on the computer, the aide brings the food over to my typing table, and we begin.  If I can get the computer shut down before starting to eat, that's fine.  If I can't-- and I struggle when I try to hurry to do anything-- we still start.  I try to tell them to wait sometimes, but that rarely works.

I understand they have to feed other people, but it's frustrating never knowing how much time I have online.  In my own home, with my own aides, I could set meal times and get more work done.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Multiple Aides

I had hoped to have my two main aides,  Chatlene and Yodit, most of the time while I was dealing with this cancer treatment round, but it hasn't worked out that way.  Yodit, especially, has been elsewhere a lot.

Fortunately, most of the aides who've filled in have been ladies I know, which has made the process easier for me.  Easier for them, too.  Sometimes four or five different ones have helped me through the course of a single day.  With all the times I've had to go to the bathroom, that spreading of the burden has probably made operations here more efficient.

Still, I hope I have Charlene and Yodit more consistently soon.  By the way, Charlene became a grandma today.